Letter #21Miracle Drug: "Something that can attain a euphoric state, such as an extremely delicious plate of fettucine alfredo" ~urbandictionary.com

Dear Indians who invented Lano-Pine (I don't think I am spelling that right...),

Thank you! Lano-Pine has been one of the greatest inventions of all time. Unfortunately, no one knows about it! Open your own medicine cabinet. What do you see? Neosporin or some sort of Wal-Mart brand antibiotic ointment? Lame... Those don't work half as good as Lano-Pine does. Thanks to my Grandpa Titensor my family was introduced to this miracle ointment. I wish I actually knew more of the history besides that it was learned from Indians. I don't even know how to make it. Russell went out with Grandpa once and I remember he had to take old panty hose and go up into the mountains. What is the importance of the panty hose? Maybe they wore them and danced around a fire. We'll never know. I hope to learn how to make Lano-Pine because I won't know what to do with out it.
When I say it works, I mean IT WORKS!!! Once my Grandpa was using a table saw and accidentally sawed off his finger. It was literally hanging by a piece of skin. Bypassing the ER, he slapped some Lano-Pine on a bandage and wrapped up his finger. Within a week or two he had a fully functional finger. Even today you cannot even see a scar. The reason I am so thankful for Lano-Pine today is because I had to use it yesterday. I stepped on a sewing needle (so much for being domestic). It went up into my big toe and I had to pull it out. Yuck! After sitting down and rocking back and forth in pain, I had Calin bring me the Lano-Pine. Today, you cannot even see where it went into my toe and it doesn't hurt one bit. Thank you Lano-Pine!